good gifts

or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? if you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

matthew 7:9-11

when i got my acceptance letter into grad school, i was also told that i was being considered for an assistantship worth about $30,000 over the course of my 2 years. so all summer long, i was praying for it and asking for this "good gift". but i didn't get the assistantship and then i forgot about it. but the other day i woke up thinking about the situation and it hit me that not getting it was a very good gift.

the program is so intense for me, given the extra courses i have to take, that i would not have been able to handle the 20 hours of work per week the assistantship would have required. i'm just managing to stay on top of things as they stand now, and any additional stress would likely make me crazy. thank you, God! You definitely know better than i do! plus, the way i see it is that He is continuing to say (as he has been for the past two years): "let's take it one step at a time". i had just enough savings to pay for my first year of school and i trust that the funds will be there for my second year when the time comes.

for all the other students out there, here's a prayer someone emailed me today:

O loving and merciful God,
my whole existence depends on you.

I ask you to send your Holy Spirit into my heart and my mind.
Fill me with your grace beyond my own personal strength,
so that I can dedicate the time and energy that I need to study.
Give me the strength to resist distractions.
When I am studying by myself,
help me to remember that you are my companion
and that I am never truly alone.

Help my professors to explain things clearly.
Help me to respect them.
Help me to pay attention and listen well in class.
Give me the courage to ask questions when I don't understand.
Give me the humility to ask for help when I need it.

Help me to accept the grades that I get after I have done all that I can do.
Give me a spirit of gratitude for the privilege of studying at this university,
while most people in the world will never have such a rare opportunity.
Help me to make the most of the wonderful gifts you have given me,
and to return them to you with generosity.

You have been with me through rough times in the past.
Help me to trust that you are here with me now.
Give me hope for the future,
and help me to trust that whatever the future brings,
you are already there waiting for me with your loving embrace.

I offer you this prayer through your Son,
my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,
who lives and reigns with you forever and ever.

Amen.