i've been told that my love language is physical touch. i love hugs. great big bear hugs are the best kind. when i touch other people i'm expressing affection and when others touch me i see it as a sign of their affection.
growing up at jaffray we were always so careful about boundaries and we made sure guys and girls never hugged. i definitely saw the value in that because when it comes to teenage boys and girls and hormones...well, you know. but i also wondered at the back of my mind whether this was just a hyperactive sense of propriety. here at citadel everyone hugs everyone--guys and girls, young people and old people. so over the past year (it's been almost a year!) i've been consciously adjusting my jaffray mentality so that when a guy hugs me i don't automatically interpret it as romantic interest on his part.
this shift in mindset has also led me to initiate hugs with guys every so often. it's not something i'm entirely comfortable with, but i have done it when i've felt the situation called for it. recently, my classmate's best friend died and my classmate was kind of a mess so i gave him a big hug on a few occasions. also, i hung out with a couple of friends this past weekend and at the end i gave this one guy a hug. these situations had seemed relatively innocuous to me, but it has come to light that in both situations my actions were misinterpreted as romantic interest by either an observer or the hug recipient. awkward...
so what's come out of this is that i'm going back to my old practice of hugging only women, family and someone i might be in a relationship with. of course, if there are extenuating circumstances, such as a male friend needing to be comforted, showing genuine care will take precedence and i may waive this "rule". also, if a guy initiated a hug i would not refuse because that would just be rude. but i think i need to be a little more cautious when it comes to these things, not because i'm worried about what third parties might think, but because being respectful of members of the opposite sex (especially brothers and sisters in Christ) includes being clear about intentions and not cloudying up the water with actions that are easily and often misinterpreted.
if you have any thoughts, drop me a line :)
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
how old do i look? + summer with citadel
my parents came to visit this weekend. we went to birch run prime outlet yesterday and found a fantastic sale at the gap clearance store (75% off the lowest ticketed price! best deals: a dress and a dress shirt for $1.75 each). but the most shocking thing of the day aside from some of the bargains was getting hit on twice by 13-year-old boys in completely separate incidents.
the first time i was just walking between stores at birch run, minding my own business. then along came three teenage boys on bikes. they were 13 or 14 years old at the most. one started riding alongside me on the walkway and said hi while his friends rode on the pavement. i glanced over at him, gave him a half smile and kept right on walking. he fell back for a bit and then he pulled ahead and started doing tricks on his bike. after awhile he and his friends just rode off and i was like "what just happened?"
then later in the evening i was at walmart alone in the toy section, looking at transportation themed puzzles. again, i was minding my own business when out of nowhere these two teenage boys show up. they could not have been more than 14 (maybe 15) years old. as they approached they cleared their throats loudly and while they walked by one guy introduced himself. i stared at him for a second, debating whether or not to ask him how old he was, but then thought better of it and just said "i'm sharon" and let him walk on by.
what is going on? do i seriously look like i'm 12? ridiculous. maybe a haircut will make me look older. my parents thought the whole thing was funny when i told them and i actually find it rather amusing myself.
anyway, mom and dad left this morning. i was disappointed they couldn't stay for citadel service but they had to be back in toronto by mid afternoon. today was the start of revival. there's a vacant lot a couple of blocks from the church and we set up a huge tent, chairs and sound equipment and had outdoor service. pastor carey's preaching is loud and he made sure people in the neighbourhood could hear him. we will hold evening services for the next three days beginning at 7:14 in reference to the same chapter and verse from 2 chronicles: "if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then i will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land".
other citadel ministries this summer include "urban camping" every other week which involves setting up tents in lots near known drug houses in the community. the men of the church camp out overnight, barbecue, sing and pray in efforts to shut down the drug trafficking. the first one of the summer was this past friday. next saturday night the women are doing a prostitute outreach. we're walking down one of the main streets in detroit doing a prayer walk, distributing water to women on the street, talking with them and letting them know about citadel. back to school rally is near the end of august. it's kinda like jaffray's carnival with games, music and food, but they also give out several hundred backpacks containing school supplies, they sell school uniforms at a fraction of their actual cost and they set up a health clinic (thanks to the many med students at citadel). they also have a job fair, which i have been put in charge of this summer. haven't done anything like this in a couple of years, so i'm nervous. much prayer is going into this!
the first time i was just walking between stores at birch run, minding my own business. then along came three teenage boys on bikes. they were 13 or 14 years old at the most. one started riding alongside me on the walkway and said hi while his friends rode on the pavement. i glanced over at him, gave him a half smile and kept right on walking. he fell back for a bit and then he pulled ahead and started doing tricks on his bike. after awhile he and his friends just rode off and i was like "what just happened?"
then later in the evening i was at walmart alone in the toy section, looking at transportation themed puzzles. again, i was minding my own business when out of nowhere these two teenage boys show up. they could not have been more than 14 (maybe 15) years old. as they approached they cleared their throats loudly and while they walked by one guy introduced himself. i stared at him for a second, debating whether or not to ask him how old he was, but then thought better of it and just said "i'm sharon" and let him walk on by.
what is going on? do i seriously look like i'm 12? ridiculous. maybe a haircut will make me look older. my parents thought the whole thing was funny when i told them and i actually find it rather amusing myself.
anyway, mom and dad left this morning. i was disappointed they couldn't stay for citadel service but they had to be back in toronto by mid afternoon. today was the start of revival. there's a vacant lot a couple of blocks from the church and we set up a huge tent, chairs and sound equipment and had outdoor service. pastor carey's preaching is loud and he made sure people in the neighbourhood could hear him. we will hold evening services for the next three days beginning at 7:14 in reference to the same chapter and verse from 2 chronicles: "if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then i will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land".
other citadel ministries this summer include "urban camping" every other week which involves setting up tents in lots near known drug houses in the community. the men of the church camp out overnight, barbecue, sing and pray in efforts to shut down the drug trafficking. the first one of the summer was this past friday. next saturday night the women are doing a prostitute outreach. we're walking down one of the main streets in detroit doing a prayer walk, distributing water to women on the street, talking with them and letting them know about citadel. back to school rally is near the end of august. it's kinda like jaffray's carnival with games, music and food, but they also give out several hundred backpacks containing school supplies, they sell school uniforms at a fraction of their actual cost and they set up a health clinic (thanks to the many med students at citadel). they also have a job fair, which i have been put in charge of this summer. haven't done anything like this in a couple of years, so i'm nervous. much prayer is going into this!
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